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Date: 15 Jan 2009 12:13:48
From: Dave Hazelwood
Subject: Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle
Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle

Jan 14 03:57 PM Australia/EDT

Loose Monkey Known To Throw Feces Evades Authorities

NEWCASTLE, NSW. (AP) - Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known
to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Newcastle. Authorities have
been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it
managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

Gary Morse with the New South Wales Fish and Wildlife Conservation
Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an
unlicensed source. It was last seen in KooYang watching tennis and
throwing feces at Roger Federer. Apparently, the monkey answers to
the name of Whisper.

The monkey is not considered dangerous but it's odor may cause
severe and instantaneous vomiting.

For some reason the animal runs around counting backwords 7543,
7543, 7543 just before he slings his feces at you. So far, nobody has
been able to figure out why.

But, the most bizarre report was by a visitor identified only as DH
who said he saw the monkey being fucked by a goat in a Sampras
costume ?

The public is advised that if they see an apparently deranged monkey
anywhere in NSW they should keep their distance to avoid a potential
shit storm and report it to the authorities immediately.




 
Date: 15 Jan 2009 07:33:29
From: Fan
Subject: Re: Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle
On Jan 15, 1:13=A0pm, Dave Hazelwood <the_big_kah...@mailcity.com >
wrote:
> Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0

raja shows up at the oddest places :)


  
Date: 15 Jan 2009 22:34:46
From: Fan
Subject: Re: Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle
On Jan 15, 4:38=A0pm, Raja <zepflo...@gmail.com > wrote:
> On Jan 15, 9:33=A0am, Fan <Turnagain...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> > On Jan 15, 1:13=A0pm, Dave Hazelwood <the_big_kah...@mailcity.com>
> > wrote:
>
> > > Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0
>
> > raja shows up at the oddest places :)
>
> motherfucker :-)

Talking about your mommy again raja monkey?


  
Date: 15 Jan 2009 07:38:17
From: Raja
Subject: Re: Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle
On Jan 15, 9:33=A0am, Fan <Turnagain...@hotmail.com > wrote:
> On Jan 15, 1:13=A0pm, Dave Hazelwood <the_big_kah...@mailcity.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0
>
> raja shows up at the oddest places :)

motherfucker :-)


 
Date: 15 Jan 2009 05:40:57
From: GOAT
Subject: Re: Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle

>
> But, the most bizarre report was by a visitor identified only as DH
> who said he saw the monkey being fucked by a goat in a Sampras
> costume ?

So are you admitting, Sampras = goat?

:D




  
Date: 15 Jan 2009 14:34:58
From: Dave Hazelwood
Subject: Re: Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle
On Thu, 15 Jan 2009 05:40:57 -0800 (PST), GOAT
<thetruetennisgoat@hotmail.co.uk > wrote:

>
>>
>> But, the most bizarre report was by a visitor identified only as DH
>> who said he saw the monkey being fucked by a goat in a Sampras
>> costume ?
>
>So are you admitting, Sampras = goat?
>
>:D
>


er no ... the goat was an imposter.


 
Date: 15 Jan 2009 15:10:03
From: TT
Subject: Re: Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle
Dave Hazelwood wrote:
> Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle
>
> Jan 14 03:57 PM Australia/EDT
>
> Loose Monkey Known To Throw Feces Evades Authorities
>
> NEWCASTLE, NSW. (AP) - Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known
> to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Newcastle. Authorities have
> been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it
> managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.
>
> Gary Morse with the New South Wales Fish and Wildlife Conservation
> Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an
> unlicensed source. It was last seen in KooYang watching tennis and
> throwing feces at Roger Federer. Apparently, the monkey answers to
> the name of Whisper.
>
> The monkey is not considered dangerous but it's odor may cause
> severe and instantaneous vomiting.
>
> For some reason the animal runs around counting backwords 7543,
> 7543, 7543 just before he slings his feces at you. So far, nobody has
> been able to figure out why.
>
> But, the most bizarre report was by a visitor identified only as DH
> who said he saw the monkey being fucked by a goat in a Sampras
> costume ?
>
> The public is advised that if they see an apparently deranged monkey
> anywhere in NSW they should keep their distance to avoid a potential
> shit storm and report it to the authorities immediately.

That monkey should really hit a few laps in the pool to cool off.


--
"Now I have so many dreams to chase - the French Open, an Olympic
singles gold medal in London in 2012, the Davis Cup for Switzerland"


 
Date: 15 Jan 2009 04:16:40
From: Professor X
Subject: Re: Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle
On Jan 15, 12:13=A0pm, Dave Hazelwood <the_big_kah...@mailcity.com >
wrote:
> Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Newcastle =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0
>
> Jan 14 03:57 PM Australia/EDT
>
> Loose Monkey Known To Throw Feces Evades Authorities
>
> NEWCASTLE, NSW. (AP) - Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known
> to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Newcastle. Authorities have
> been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it
> managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.
>
> Gary Morse with the New South Wales Fish and Wildlife Conservation
> Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an
> unlicensed source. It was last seen in KooYang watching tennis and
> throwing feces at Roger Federer. Apparently, the monkey answers to
> the name of Whisper.
>
> The monkey is not considered dangerous but it's odor may cause
> severe and instantaneous vomiting.
>
> For some reason the animal runs around counting backwords 7543,
> 7543, 7543 just before he slings his feces at you. So far, nobody has
> been able to figure out why.
>
> But, the most bizarre report was by a visitor identified only as DH
> who said he saw the monkey being fucked by a goat in a Sampras
> costume ?
>
> The public is advised that if they see an apparently deranged monkey
> anywhere in NSW they should keep their distance to avoid a potential
> shit storm and report it to the authorities immediately.

lol